How American parenting is killing the American marriage

Originally posted on Quartz:

Sometime between when we were children and when we had children of our own, parenthood became a religion in America. As with many religions, complete unthinking devotion is required from its practitioners. Nothing in life is allowed to be more important than our children, and we must never speak a disloyal word about our relationships with our offspring. Children always come first. We accept this premise so reflexively today that we forget that it was not always so.

In our recently published book, Sacred Cows, we took on our society’s nonsensical but deeply ingrained beliefs surrounding marriage and divorce. We often get asked whether we will next address the sacred cows of modern parenting, at which point we ask the speaker to please lower his voice, and we look nervously over our shoulders to make sure that nobody has overheard the question.

To understand the frightening power of the…

View original 890 more words

The Good Samaritan (Ministries)

Originally posted on R.L. Stollar //// Overturning Tables:

After reading The Atlantic’s article “A Christian Alternative to Health Insurance”, I was inspired to fix the story of the Good Samaritan for Jesus. Clearly Jesus needed a biblical worldview class or two.

Behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted Jesus, saying, “Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus said unto him, “What is written in the law? how readest thou?”

And he answering said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.”

And Jesus said unto him, “Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.”

But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

And Jesus answering said, “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment…

View original 321 more words

This One’s For The Homeschool Moms: Mercy’s Story

Originally posted on Homeschoolers Anonymous:

HA note: The author’s name has been changed to ensure anonymity. “Mercy” is a pseudonym. 

Homeschool Moms (Present, Past, and Future), this post is for you.

"Be strong and call it like it is."

“Be strong and call it like it is.”

I’ve thought a lot about how conservative, Christian (in my case, not fundamentalist) homeschooling has shaped my life, but it wasn’t until last year that I took the time to think about how it impacted my mother. My sister had just called home to tell me that her and her husband of a short time were divorcing. I broke the news to my mom before my sister did, to soften the blow a little bit. My mom’s face went grey and she said, “How could this happen to your sister? I did everything right.” There was little consoling her, she thought that she had failed as a parent.

Why would the divorce of a child who…

View original 1,342 more words

How to Know If You Are “Respecting Yourself” By What You Wear

I’m a huge supporter of respecting yourself. Especially when it comes to how you dress. No, really.

But what is the modern lady to do? We read about how we should “stay classy”, how we should not be slutty, how we should take responsibility for our safety by what we wear, how we should be careful of what we make men think, how we should avoid certain items of clothing that are sure to degrade our bodies. And whatever we do, we must make sure to stay pretty but avoid attracting “too much” attention!

Please, try not to attract too much attention.

Please, try not to attract too much attention.

But either these warnings are vague, or full of contradictory suggestions. Often increasing in severity. Women should not wear leggings, pants, clothing not covered by a burka. Geez louise, who is right and who is wrong? Better find out before you accidentally disrespect yourself!

Oh, no! Anything but the wrong guy looking at you!

Oh, no! Anything but that! Give me the judgey guy who will monitor what I wear instead!

Fortunately, I recognized the need among womankind for a simple, easy-to-follow guide that will allow you to know for sure whether or not you are respecting yourself by what you wear. You’re welcome, ladies.

 1. Examine your motives.

What are your reasons for choosing your outfit today? Are you comfortable with these reasons? Are you ignoring the voices of your judgey neighbor, your extra conservative uncle, that girl at work you barely know? Have you made a decision that works for you, and makes your feel confident and secure?

If you answer “yes” to all of these questions, then congratulations! You are respecting yourself instead of everyone else. Good job.

(Side note: asking for fashion advice is not necessarily discouraged. Sometimes a girl wants to get a friend or loved one’s opinion on an outfit for a special occasion, or just because. This is not the same as relying on another person to tell you whether or not you are a worthwhile person based on your clothing. And if you happen to disagree with the person giving the advice, carry on. No one will like every outfit you choose, and visa versa.)

2. Examine your feelings.

How do you feel? Are you happy? Comfortable? Confident? Do you feel attractive? Professional? Edgy? Or whatever other adjective you were going for? Does your outfit fulfill your motives that you examined in item one? Do you want to wear this outfit?

-Conversely-

Do you wish you were wearing something else? Is someone else making you feel like you can’t wear what you want? Do you feel pressured in any way?

If you answered “yes” to all of the questions in the first paragraph and “no” to all of the questions in the second paragraph, then congratulations! You are respecting yourself by what you are wearing.

How to Know You Are "Respecting Yourself" By What You Wear

You look cute today. You know you do.

Now, go forth, you respectable woman, and conquer the day!

photo credit: Collin Key via photopin cc

Yes, All Men: Every Man Needs to Understand Internalized Misogyny and Male Violence

Originally posted on Flavorwire:

In the aftermath of the weekend’s ghastly events at UC Santa Barbara, there’s been plenty of discussion about our pervasive culture of misogyny, and the myriad destructive ways in which it manifests. A large part of the narrative has been that men need to shut up and listen to women’s voices on this topic, which is certainly true. But men also need to talk, honestly and amongst ourselves, about the nature of masculinity, and acknowledge our own destructive impulses. This is a problem that men need to be discussing precisely because it’s a problem with men. And it’s only men who are going to fix it.

View original 2,487 more words

Recycling Used Cans For Seedling Planters

I have been trying to cultivate a medicinal herb garden lately. I have plans to start making my own tea, essential oils, etc. I have also been using fresh herbs in my cooking, and the taste difference is astounding. I recently planted lemon balm, sage, cayenne peppers, chamomile, echinacea, evening primrose, and lavender by seed. The results were so abundant that I found myself overrun with the seedlings. Not wanting to waste a good plant, I came up with a way to reuse old cans and find temporary homes for the plant babies. I plan to sell or trade (or give away) the seedlings.

It was so easy. I just used scissors to remove the top of the cans, trim the edges, and poke a hole in the bottom for drainage. Then I added a layer of soil, placed the seedling, and filled in the edges with soil. Voila!

Recycling Used Cans For Seedling Planters -- Sage, Chamomile, Echinacea

Echinacea, chamomile, sage.

 

Recycling Used Cans For Seedling Planters -- Lemon Balm

A tiny cayenne pepper plant.

 

Recycling Used Cans For Seedling Planters -- Lavender

Sage and lavender sitting side by side.

 

Recycling Used Cans For Seedling Planters -- Cayenne Pepper

A cute little lemon balm.

If you happen to be in the Orlando area and would like a baby plant, e-mail me at jrgerbholz@gmail.com